THE PLASTIC REVOLUTION: TOYOTA’S LATEST FASHION SHOW
THE PLASTIC REVOLUTION: TOYOTA’S LATEST FASHION SHOW
Look, I stopped by the local lot today to see if there was a soul left in the automotive industry. Spoiler alert: there isn't. I’m standing there looking at these new "rigs"—if you can even call them that—and I feel like I’m at a Sephora instead of a dealership.
I’ve got my 80 Series out in the lot, smelling like actual gear oil and triumph, while these new things smell like a "New Car" scented vape pen. Here is the breakdown of what I saw, through the eyes of someone who remembers when a locking differential didn't require a software update.
CRAYOLA OFF-ROADING
First, we’ve got the 6th Generation 4Runner TRD Pro in a color they call Everest. Honestly, it looks like a military-grade pea soup. Back in my day, if your truck was this color, it meant you’d been sitting in a swamp for three days and needed a wash, not a $70,000 line of credit. It’s "earthy," they say—inspired by the outdoors. I’ve seen a lot of the outdoors, and usually, when it’s this shade of green, something is rotting.
Then there’s the 4th Gen Tacoma sitting right next to it in Underground. It’s gray. Just... gray. The marketing geniuses want you to think it’s "stealthy" or "urban," but it looks like a wet sidewalk in Seattle. They’ve managed to take a truck and paint it the color of boredom, then gave it a name that sounds like a failed indie rock band.
THE "TECH" PROBLEM
I sat in the Tacoma for five seconds. Big mistake.
The Screen: There is a 14-inch tablet glued to the dash. Why? I don't need to see a high-def rendering of the rock I’m about to crush. I have eyes.
The Buttons: Or lack thereof. If I have to navigate a sub-menu to turn on the heater, I’ve already lost the battle against the machines.
The Soul: It’s gone. These things have more sensors than a NASA lunar lander. My 80 Series has a straight-six that will outlive me, my kids, and probably the internet.
FINAL VERDICT
If you want to look like you’re ready for a rugged weekend at the suburban mall, get the Underground Tacoma. If you want a truck that actually knows how to work for a living without crying for a firmware update, find me in the woods.
"Toyota peaked at the 80 Series. Everything else is just a glorified calculator on 33s."
Never Lift. Aaron Thies | Motorsports & Automotive Photography
